If you’ve been reading my blog for a while or if you’ve read my archives you know that I have a long history of being somewhat of a prankster.
I’ve also recently told you that I like to tease my husband and kids endlessly. Sometimes when my kids ask me what’s for dinner I tell them we are having stink weed soup, baked skunk cabbage or skewered iguana brains garnished with buffalo hoof shavings. Though this is one of the most commonly used tools in my bag of tricks, they still continue to be convinced that I’m serious if I have a poker face and if the smell of something delightful isn’t filling their nasal cavities, convincing them that I must be fibbing.
They still say, “Are you serious Mom?” Of course I keep the charade up for a few more minutes until finally they remember that I’ve tried this trick on them a few hundred times before and never have they yet had the distinct pleasure of knowing just how skunk cabbage tastes.
When I was in college I was no different. Of course I didn’t have all of these guinea pigs at my mercy then but I still was able to exercise my practical joking muscles.
It must have been my second day of college when there was a scuttle going on in our dormitory bathroom. When I walked in to the bathroom I was horrified to see, in plain view, in one of the toilet stalls where only feet are normally visible, the spectacle of someone sitting in a box, attempting to use it as a potty. This is when I knew for sure that college was made up only of highly intelligent folks who were there for one thing, and one thing only, and that was learning!! (Right.)
Apparently a boyfriend had made his girlfriend, someone in our dorm, quite mad and the girl sitting in the box was offering her services to try and get him back by presenting in the boys’ mailbox a special little gift. I was not a part of this malarkey. Thankfully I was an innocent bystander. I was not standing in approval of this particular joke either. Somehow the relationship temporarily survived this stunt. In the end the boy married another girl in the dorm who though she didn’t play the main role in the prank, did, if I remember correctly, think it a great stunt! I’ll spare you the pictures of this prank…. Oh yes. You heard me right. There were pictures.
Though everyone has a point to which they are willing to sink in the name of a good prank and poop in a box was a couple of measures below that point for me, I did realize that these girls with whom I would spend a considerable amount of time with, had a sincere appreciation for a prank.
About halfway through the year our dorm had a rivalry going with one of the boy dorms. I honestly can’t remember exactly where or how it started. But obviously it was inspired by someone in their group who liked at least one someone in our group and at least one person in our group who liked at least one person in their group. Oh the things college kids will do for love!
While walking across campus one of my dorm-mates somehow came across a giant Powerade bottle that would normally have been used to hold drinks at a quicky-mart or 7-11. She knew she had seen it in the boys’ dorm at one point so she felt this the perfect opportunity for a prank. She swiped that puppy up and brought it to our dorm.
We all stood around admiring her handiwork and speculating on what they would do when they found out we had their giant Powerade bottle. Well, it didn’t take too long for this lady’s keen nostrils to figure out that this container had more than likely provided something slightly less appetizing than a drink holder for their many thirst-quenching needs. It had indeed been their dorm’s recreational urinal. Upon closer inspection of the vessel my suspicions were confirmed.
After we all finished our faux vomiting maneuvers, I, your own bloggy friend, contrived a wonderful plan. I rubbed my hands together with sinister glee! This was just too beautiful! That night everyone who ate dinner at the school cafeteria would have up close and personal knowledge that these boys had been using a Powerade drink holder as a urinal.
We made a sign and attached it to the plastic container letting the boys know that we had found their potty for them. And that we hoped they would have a wonderfully Merry Christmas! What better present could they wish for? It was placed strategically at the entrance to the cafeteria on a ledge where nobody could miss it. I don’t remember how thankful they were for the return of their potty. I certainly don’t remember getting any thank-you notes in my mailbox.
The boys were not so good at creative come-backs but they did try. At one point they stormed our dorm after a large snowfall, bringing cans and cans of snow into our dorm. All down the halls. In every one of our rooms that were unlocked. It was a lovely clean-up that we had to do.
The exchange continued until at the end of the year we declared a cease-fire. We had really done them in with a midnight raid of their dorm. Only we did not bring loads of snow into their dorm. We ran through the place with about 1,000 feminine napkins, sticking them on their walls, in their furniture, on everyones’ doors, in their microwaves and pretty much everywhere we could stick them while moving at a high rate of speed through a darkened hall. It was beautiful. Upon waking they were mildly horrified. Their clean-up efforts were much more disturbing I think than our snow clean-up had been.
There were more pranks. But I fear that if you already haven’t lost all respect for me by now, you certainly would if I told you any more. Fortunately I’m all grown up now and I don’t act this way anymore. I just tease my kids and steal my husband’s pillow on a regular basis.
But really. University was all about the library. Studying. Books. Professors. Getting full night sleeps. Eating healthy. You know. All business.