My husband and I were finishing up our morning coffee after sending the boys upstairs to get dressed for church. The normal routine involves a couple of reminders, amidst the rumbling and ‘hootin’ and hollerin’ as my mother would say, to stay on task, get dressed… or else. We were discussing art classes for the older two, talking about how though the oldest has most proficiently shown a penchant for art, his younger brother has a strong desire to draw though his skill is just now emerging. We were discussing how we want to discourage too much competitiveness, though a tiny bit can prove to be a helpful motivator.

It was at this very moment that we heard, “YOU DON’T KNOW LATIN!!” being shouted at the top of someone’s lungs. We looked at each other and busted up laughing at the irony of the moment.

I ascended the stairs to get the littlest dude into his clothes and finish getting myself ready. I couldn’t let the Latin based insult go unexplained. So I asked what that was all about.

My oldest explained, “Well, he said he was going to embalm me and I told him he doesn’t even know what embalm means because he doesn’t even know latin. And he can’t say words like that until he knows Latin. And he said that he does know Latin. So I told him he didn’t know Latin. He doesn’t even know history.”

“I KNOW history!!”

“No you don’t!”

The five year old attacks the seven year old from behind, not letting go. “YOU!! You language robber!!”

Oh puhleeeeeeeeeeease! I think my brothers and I usually fought using traditional childhood insults like, “Faced you! Moded you! I am rubber, you are glue, bounces off me and sticks on you!” And other such ignominious name-calling. I never thought I’d hear my offspring dissing each other based on their lack of knowledge of dead languages or how much the other knew about ancient Egyptian burial rites.

I can’t wait until they both really do know Latin. The arguments will be priceless.

Oh you… Parva leves capiunt animas. “

“Yeah, well… Memento mori!”

Potius mori quam foedari!”

Don’t even think for a minute that I know Latin well enough to write these phrases myself! I totally Googled them.

6 thoughts on “Enter: Academic Competitiveness

  1. You are so funny!I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to fight–I know that sounds bad, but I’m interested in what will happen. We have bets our little guy will own his sister because she’s so dramatic and cries at the drop of a hat.Latin. Funny stuff.

  2. They are so funny. I’m glad you had to Google the phrases…I was feelin’ a little dumb for a minute there…okay a LOT dumb. Hope you had a great weekend!

  3. Semper ubi sub ubi.That is TOO funny. I love the “language robber” line. It’s true…my insults traded with siblings were way less original and we also had the “I’m rubber, you’re glue” rhyme. LOL!

  4. My brother just pointed his finger at my nose. And then chanted “point my finger at your nose.”no Latin, no bouncing rubber.Just me biting his finger – and both of us getting whooped.

  5. love this post, and the pic of the rubber boots in the last post! language robber…I totally googled them…good stuff. And my mom has at least 21 pairs of rubber boots, in every size and color (I counted once), so that pic brought back great childhood memories. thanks.(ps: I’m mrs. guthrie of THEyes’ SIL, in case you were totally confused)

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