I really don’t know how to spell the sound that vomiting makes. If it’s in a medical dictionary somewhere, I hope someone will be kind enough to bring it to my attention.
So occasionally we are blessed with hand me down books that other people have eschewed for one reason or another. Much of the time they are great books that the kids love that someone has simply grown out of. Other times we come across something too awful for words.
Tonight I shall bless you with a sampling of such faire. You can thank me later.
A board book with all of two pages, with the non-threatening title of, Playtime seems innocent enough, but I assure you it is the most repugnant piece of literature on the planet. Okay, so I can think of a few more sinister titles but, really, this is pretty awful.
Why do I need a barf bin? Because that sentence fragment makes me want to chew my fingernails and toenails down to bloody little stumps and cry like a baby. Either that or vomit. Hence the need for a barf receptacle.
I’m sorry but I didn’t know what those little kidney shaped barf receptacles were called. I even went to the trouble of Googling it but all I came up with in my quest was this. I never knew that people actually labored over the search for a “cute” barf receptacle. I must confess, the point of a cute barf receptacle rather escapes me. But I digress.
Extra points if you know where the quote that Lamby Larry is saying comes from. (What these points are good for, I do not know.)
Was that not the thickest plot ever? Were you not just HANGING (not from the sentence fragment) on the edge of your seat, just waiting to see what would become of the poor chipmunk who was going to be consumed by the bee? Were you not enthralled with anticipation, wondering what was going to happen to the little gymnast, Lamby Dave who wasn’t heeding Larry Lamb’s wise counsel?
And thus ends our story time today here at the Lunchbox Lounge. Thanks for joining us boys and girls! (said in my best Kindergarten teacher voice) Tune in next time for another stirring episode of, “Things that make you go phlarghblachspitewwy!”