Whenever we go out we inevitably get asked one of two questions, but usually both, at least 14 times per hour. The first question being, “Are they all yours?” and the second one being, “Are they all boys?” and the third one being, “Are there any twins?” and the fourth one being “How far apart are they?” and the fifth one being, “You must be tired.” and the sixth one being “Wow. Four boys. Wow… Four. Wow.” and the seventh one being, “All boys? How sad!” (at which point I usually decide it’s about the right time to tear someone a new … something)…. and the eighth one being… Oh, I’m sorry, was I supposed to stop at two? And was I supposed to be talking about the questions people ask us rather than the endless commentary that we receive where ever we go, as if we were the Duggar family or something. (And for the record, my boys do not wear matching khaki shorts and possibly the only polo shirt I think we own is lime green. Oh, and I do not wear a jumper or have 30 foot long hair either…. just to set the record straight.) How careless of me…. back on topic…

Honestly, four kids to me doesn’t seem like such an anomaly because I grew up in a large family but I guess it is. So, yes, people always ask us, “Are they all yours?” and worse still, “Are they all from the same father?!” (Oh yes, yes they do ask that) as if I would sit down right there in the aisle of the store or on a skinny little bridge that leads up the side of a deep canyon during a happy family hike and spill my guts about how many fathers they hail from and the whole sordid story behind each conception, if that were the case. I’ve always sort of wanted to shock someone with a story like that just to see their reaction. Fortunately/Unfortunately I just can’t bring myself to do it. I have been shocky enough to answer, “You do realize you’re asking me about my sex life… in the grocery store… in front of my children.” (Always make sure to wear a deadpan look on your face at this point. It’s paramount for getting the best reaction.)

And then we seem to also always get the question, “Are they all boys?

Umm… Call me crazy but do dirty jeans, ratty shoes, banged up knees, deep gravelly little voices and buzzed haircuts not tell you anything? I understand this question where androgynously dressed infants are involved but at this point, I look at my sons and I start to wonder if the askers have rocks in their heads or maybe are just possibly legally blind, in which case I would not fault them. However, when I get this question, I smile and nod and give them the kind of reply that they are clearly expecting rather than what I really, deep down, want to answer… What I would really like to answer to someone who asks this is to suddenly hush them and pull them aside and whisper to them that we’re not really quite sure what they all are but that we really don’t like to talk about it in public…. But, go figure, I never have done this. And I sorta don’t think I will. Call me a coward.

Then of course there is the inevitable, “Don’t you know what causes that?”

One time we were walking downtown in this fair city of ours and a (kindly?) vagrant shouted out from the street corner across the way, “Don’t you know what causes that?”

Lord help me, I don’t quite know what came over me but I responded. Oh, did I ever respond. And at full volume so that he and all his friends could hear my unequivocal answer, “YES! And we do it A LOT!” He let out a belly laugh and some chortled some reply as to the tartness of my answer. My less outspoken husband all but helicoptered out of there with a red-faced grin that said what he usually says to me, “You’re a piece of work.”

Yes, they are all ours, we know what causes this and they are all boys and they are all boy and we had them one at a time… on purpose!! And we wouldn’t change a thing…

Here’s my bike riding boy…




fast bike T

(ask me if you want to know about the photoshop tricks I used to do the above picture and I’ll do a tutorial on it.)

And here is my “baby” just being his cute little self…















19 thoughts on “Are they all yours?

  1. Silly me…I thought you only had three boys! : )

    I was with a friend of mine who had three kids, pregnant with the fourth…an aquaintance of mine to whom I was introducing her said, “Didn’t you know you are supposed to stop at two?” Yikes, I wanted to die. Which one was she supposed to give back? Grrr!

  2. Hey there! Loved the pics of the camping trip! I get those questions all the time too. The one I love is “you’re hands sure are full!”
    To which I can reply, “And my heart also!”
    I have been visiting 4littlemen.blogspot.com you have to visit her….she has four boys with twins on the way! (doesn’t know the sex yet). woo hoo!! and she takes great photos!!!!

    Danielle & Jeff’s last blog post..Fun Outside!

  3. People are so weird sometimes with what they say. I mean, do they not have a filter between their brains and their mouths? My BIL said something like that in front of me once… some sort of earth-friendly to the point of “anyone who has more than three is irresponsible.” After he left, I told my husband that as my father’s *fourth* child, I would disagree. My three older bro’s are from my father’s first marriage, so I don’t think that BIL was aware of them really. Or he was too high on his horse to remember.

    People are so weird sometimes.

    Urban Mom’s last blog post..The Post of Insufferable Urbanity

  4. I get that all the time also. Makes me want to smart off to them also. But then they would probably think I’m having a bad day because I sure am busy and have my hands full with ALL those kids. And for the record I don’t know how anyone can mistake your boys for anything but boys. Sheesshh!

    And please do give a tutorial on the bike photo…it’s way cool.

    Queen of My Domain’s last blog post..Did ya know?

  5. You should get a t-shirt to wear out that says: “Stupid Questions Will Get Stupid Answers”. Then when someone asks if they are all yours answer with “No, I pick boys up off the side of the road when I see them”. When they ask if they are all boys say: “Well, we think they may be aliens since we found them on the side of the road” Oh, you could come up with some good ones for all the common questions you get asked. I would have lots of fun with that…of course I am somewhat a smartalec and can be quite sarcastic.

    Jyl’s last blog post..Throwin It All Together

  6. “Umm… Call me crazy but do dirty jeans, ratty shoes, banged up knees, deep gravelly little voices and buzzed haircuts not tell you anything?”

    ROFL *grin*

    I don’t know why people see four as being so huge – but then, my mother has four sisters and both sets of grandparents come from families with 13 kids….we only have two, but someday we want to adopt and make our family larger. 🙂

    Oh and yes! I’d love to know how you did that photo – I don’t have photoshop but I do have PSPX and it has all kinds of similar stuff…would be cool to try that out!

  7. Thanks everyone! :^D It’s always nice to know we’re not alone. I’ll try to work on that PS tutorial later this week!

  8. I found it interesting that when we first married, everyone pushed for that first child. Then, after the first arrived, it was “when are you going to have another?” Then the second arrived and no one said a word about anymore – like we’d done all we were allowed to do. Then the third arrived and I get all sorts of looks when we go out (and mine are all three years apart, so not really close in age). Now I get asked “are you done? Do you plan more?” I always smile and say, with a laugh, “well, we’re Catholic so you never know!” Are we done? Well, wouldn’t that only be our business? And God’s?

  9. I have a friend who has 4 boys and a baby girl – they get the same questions. Sometimes I wish I was so blessed to have so many children! And then I remember how my 2 drive me crazy and don’t know how I (personally) could have anymore! LOL Though I suppose if God would grant me the blessings, he would also grant me the patients (hopefully a little more!) to care for them! 🙂

    Risa’s last blog post..Luke Update – And More

  10. My (least) favorite comment is, “Are you disappointed that you don’t have a girl?” or, if I mention that we’d like more kids, “Oh, Danielle must be trying for a girl, right?”. As if we’d be disappointed with the 3 bundles of boy-fun that we have…

    No, we’re happy with all boys, thank you very much.


    Danielle & Jeff’s last blog post..Girls Can Be Fun….

  11. I have two little girls ages 5 and 2. Before I got pregnant I had always wanted 4 boys. We had a baby girl and I had fallen in love with her before she was born. When we had our second I was really hoping for another girl. I was having so much fun with my first and I thought it would be so cool for her to have a sister. A lady at church came up to me after our second was born and gave me this really pathetic look and said ” Too bad, it would have been nice to have one of each.” I was furious but managed to act civil. I told her that I had prayed for another little girl and that we were planning on having more kids. She was shocked. I just don’t understand why people think you should stop at two. I’m so ready for a boy but for crying out loud, these are babies, human beings, eternal souls we are talking about, not puppies and kittens!!! If we end up with all girls, I’ll still be content and happy.

  12. I think people are just impressed that you can handle all 4 and still look good doing it. Don’t most people stop having kids when they feel like they are overwhelmed in their own lives? Maybe that is why you get all the comments, people are reflecting their own overwhelm on your situation. Take it as a reflection of their personal situations, I think. I am totally in awe that you can handle 4 so well, I have just the 2 but wish I could handle them better.

    Heidi’s last blog post..Seven things…

  13. Yep, we get the questions too. And after 3 boys and pg again I was constantly asked something along the lines of “hoping this one’s your girl huh?” which was generally followed by something indicating that we could then be ‘done’. Because..you know..we’d be complete..we’d finally gotten that girl.

    Well, we did get that girl for #4. Then followed with 2 more boys…so there! 😛 pfffft

    We get asked about twins often..doesn’t help that the 9 and 6 yr old are a mere inch and 2# apart LOL I’m waiting for the middle two to be mistaken for twins or for triplets to run in…because the 4 yr old girl is barely a smidge behind the 6 yr old LMHO

    Anyway..yeah..one of these days I’m going to let one of my snarky answers fly. You gotta love though how each of these folk think they are just such the genius. That the comments they let fly are soooo original. Dude, if I had a quarter for every time I’ve heard that comment TODAY ALONE..I could buy a value meal.

    Do people seem to want to touch them too? hehe
    That’s a whole other rant though isn’t it?

    Ah well..wear your ‘mom of many’ badge proudly. Boastfully claiming each one of those darling little men.

  14. I have 5 boys and my favorite is “you MUST have been trying for a girl.” I usually say “nope, just love making babies.” That pretty much ends that conversation. lol.

    The other favorite, “do they all have the same father?” WHO ASKS THAT? shessh. lol.

    When the boys were younger, we would walk into the store, and I would see people counting them, then nudge whoever they were with and say “she has 5 boy!” My oldest would turn around and say “Yep, there’s 5 of us. Don’t ya wish you were her?”

    Charmed’s last blog post..He knew

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