I have to ask you other mothers and fathers this question. Do your children make up songs that include lots of made up words? And do these songs sometimes surprise you with the accidental and occasional F-bombs or other shocking words?
My four year old, who as usual will remain nameless, is my singer. He sings while he plays. He sings while we are driving in the car. He sings while he is on the potty (those are some interesting songs.) He rarely sings real songs. They all tend to have the same tune which includes about three notes. Low, middle and high. Wait. Four notes. Low, middle, high and Oh my Lord what is that awful sound. No, I’m kidding. His songs are really adorable, if occasionally somewhat… uh…. off tune.
They are usually about a guy who has an unfortunate series of accidents or who accidentally eats everything he comes into contact with. He always ends up getting sick and puking.
Have I ever mentioned that this same boy is my story teller? He has several characters about whom he is always telling us. Our favorite, just for his name, is Tibby Tubbums (TM – steal it and you owe my kid royalties.)
But anyways, from the time where the man starts getting sick the song usually has turned from being a solo into a full on glee club of all of my boys and it quickly delves deep into the realm of the pit toilet, which means it no longer sounds much like a song but like a whole bunch of little boys yelling gross things and then exploding in uncontrollable belly laughter, at which time I of course must be a good mommy and put the old ky-bosh on it (never mind that you could easily find me singing this song as I do my household chores… Don’t judge. All parents are hypocrites. For instance we all tell our kids not to pick their noses and that it’s a disgusting, dirty habit but deep down we know that we all sneak a good dig now and then… and what’s more… we find it terribly satisfying, and as we indulge, we reason with ourselves that fingers and nostrils were created proportionally for a very specific reason. And then we look around shiftily, patting ourselves on the back for pulling it off without being seen.) Oh my… how did I get here?
So today my four year old managed to accidentally let fly a few doozies that The Pastor and I won’t soon forget. The first instance didn’t actually come in the form of a song. It was merely a statement of fact. It was purely observation.
As we were driving by a row of motels, he looked and saw the Travel Lodge Motel and nonchalantly said, “That’s a ti**y motel.”
(CUE MOTHER’S EYES TURNING THE SIZE OF SAUCERS AND BUGGING OUT OF HEAD.)
(Cue mother giggling uncontrollably under her breath.)
(Cue mother gathering herself to ask the question.)
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a ti**y motel.”
“Do you mean a teddy motel?”
“Like a bear?”
And then it dawned on me. He’s talking about this guy.
Okay. Got that cleared up.
Obviously we don’t have very many teddy bears around our house. If we did we would have cleared that mispronunciation up a long time ago. What can I say? We are more of a stuffed dog family. Everyone has stuffed dogs. No bears.
The second instance was part of one of these songs that never end that involve the man who eats everything. But the song can change directions with great rapidity. There is never any explanation and there is no telling what way the song is going to go. Authors say the same thing about their books, don’t they? They all say that they write themselves and the author is just the conduit and really doesn’t know what the story is going to do until they have accidentally written it… and there it is. Same thing goes for my son’s songs. However they don’t just write themselves as far as plot, they write themselves as far as random words and sounds thrown together in a mishmash that can sometimes come out meaning more than the singer knows.
He loves the sounds of words. He loves to make up words and smash different sounds together to test the agility of his tongue. Or something.
The song today was all over the place. The last things I heard before things went downhill fast involved “He ate the world and he got siiiiiii-iiiiiick….” And then there came a chorus of non-sense words co-mingled with real words and what accidentally came out next was, “blobbo bibo di*do submarine!!!!”
(CUE MOTHER’S EYES GROWING TO THE SIZE OF DINNER PLATES.)
(Cue mother and father slapping each other and holding their mouths shut and trying not to explode in laughter.)
(Cue them exploding in laughter anyways.)
(Cue children asking, “What? What did he say? What word did he accidentally say?”)
(Cue parents saying, “Well, we sure as heck aren’t going to tell you!”)
(Cue Glee Club starting up again at full throttle.)
(Cue song growing exponentially louder and more ridiculous by the millisecond.)
(Cue arriving at Costco and Mother threatening people with their lives if they continue at this volume into the public sphere.)
(Cue continued deafening racket.)
(Cue mother turning up the radio as loudly as possible so as to drown out any and all competition.)
Then they all went to Costco and acted like normal people.
Don’t you just wish you knew us in person?