I can’t seem to form a single cohesive thought lately. Seriously. My head seems to have its synapses into about a hundred different things.
Get back here you vagrant, wandering, delinquent synapses! You are all getting spankings and being sent to bed with no supper. That will teach you to step out of line again like that!
- Synapses put in their place and told where to get off. CHECK!
So instead of try to make any kind of cohesive sense or post about just one unified topic I am going to throw a bunch of random stuff at you. This is the Lunchbox after all. And every once in a while didn’t your mom try to clean out her fridge by way of your lunchbox when you were a kid? I mean, didn’t you ever get some strange leftover that really had no place in a lunchbox? That’s what’s about to happen right here today my friends. You’ve been warned.
So the first thing amongst my talking points today is this…
- I have a strange bump on my hand that moves around under my skin when I bend my middle, ring and pinky fingers.
It looks and feels really gross and reminds me of Grandpa’s game of Herkimer. (By the way, remind me to tell you about Herkimer. If I don’t your curiosity is bound to drive you to the edge of insanity and you will end up twitching at the eyebrows when you brush your teeth one night out of nowhere, wondering what a Herkimer is and if you might have one.) My doctor today told me it was a tendon nodule, not too uncommon apparently and might just go away on its own. That and the pain and numbness I’ve been having in my wrist/hand is tendonitis. If Mr. Strangebump doesn’t go away on his own, I’ll maybe have to consult a plastic surgeon. Do you think if I’m there for my hand, the doctor might be able to just haphazardly, and completely by accident of course, remove some of these pesky stretch marks? What a wonderful mistake that would be.
Okay, point two.
- There is a horrible odor emanating from my dog right now.
I’m sorry to tell you that. It wasn’t really on my list but this is sort of a stream of consciousness blog entry and since I can’t escape the odor, why should you? He has only eaten dog food. Why this awful stench? What did I do to deserve this? Dog ownership has its perils. So that was point two.
- I am on an Alison Krauss kick right now.
I have never been a country music fan. But over the past couple of years I have come to have a real appreciation for Bluegrass, Cape Breton style music and have always loved Irish folk music. There is to me a huge difference between the sound and style of your typical country western music and Bluegrass. Bluegrass is musically intricate and… I don’t know… just more poetic. So I’ve been on this Alison Krauss kick lately. What can I say? I love her voice. It’s like butta. It’s beautiful. It’s whistful and enchanting and takes me out of myself. And I don’t know why but I can totally stomach the twanginess that happens in Bluegrass even though its less refined cousin, C & W, still tends to give me the heeby jeebies.
- I don’t know what to make for dinner. (Sometimes it’s fun to bold one word for no apparent reason.)
I have been uninspired a lot lately. Do you go through periods of inspiration and uninspiration in (see what I mean about random bolding being fun?) the kitchen? (Not to be confused with perspiration and nonperspiration in the kitchen…. let’s try to not talk about perspiration if we can at all avoid it okay? Thanks.) Sometimes I get all gourmet and buy all fresh for weeks or months and then I’m all gourmeted and freshed out and end up feeding my family meals like this. And you really can’t get much worse than that.
- I bought a swimsuit and a swim cap today.
Because I like swimming. And I don’t like to get my hair wet when it’s freezing outside. And I need exercise. And I don’t like exercise. But I like swimming. And I have bad knees. And swimming is nice to bad knees. And everything I just typed for the past 103 (estimated) characters has been in an unwieldy and grammatically sinful fashion. I’m sorry. I repent at the feet of Strunk & White.
Here’s a swimsuit like the one I bought. Mine doesn’t have the zipper and looks like a regular racing bathing suit on top.
I like it because I’m not a huge fan of thighs in general. Anyone with me? I mean, thighs are great for utilitarian reasons but otherwise I’m just not a big fan.
- My kids are learning about anatomy this year.
We decided to get a whole bunch of videos on human anatomy at Standard Deviants. I think I remember the narrator’s voice from videos I watched in high school. They also have a new friend to help them learn in a more hands on way.
I got him on Ebay. His name is Fred. I don’t know why his name is Fred but that’s what they named him. Last night we lost Fred’s intestines and we had lots of fun telling the children that they had to find the intestines before they could do anything else. I later found the intestines under the couch. I then left the intestines on the dryer when I went to unload it. Fred is standing here before me, disemboweled, the poor fellow. I promise I’ll bring his intestines up right after I finish writing this disheveled sorry excuse for a post.
So there you have it. My totally random talking points. I’m sorry if I made you want to vomit. Or cry. Or both. I do try to keep that to a minimum usually.
Better go. Accidental point 7 is that…
- I now smell a horrendous odor emanating from my baby.
Which leads promptly to accidental point number 8 which is…
- I have been changing poopy diapers for 8 1/2 years straight with no breaks. I’m sort of getting bitter.
Point nine is…
Oh and I totally forgot to put this but I was going to put it first and then got sidetracked so now it’s point ten…
- I voted today! Yay!
Hooray for absentee ballots. Hooray for voting. Hooray for voting even if you don’t like your options. Hooray for trying to avoid bad reasons for choosing a candidate.