Children are extremely creative. Mine are no exception.
They recently came up with a series of strange villains that I’m going to share with you now. Together we came up with theme songs for each of them.
Count Gherkin was an ordinary pickle living in the land of Gherkinia which was full of tiny stupid pickles who needed a leader. Count Gherkin rose to power and attached mind numbing electrodes to the brains of all of his insignificant little pickle people. He was not sweet at all.
Dr. Computer got his degree at ITT-Tech. And soon he was constructing diabolical plans to take over the world by secretly implanting in the brains of every human specialized computer obedient light emitting diodes.
Baby Man was actually just a man who was struck by the paralyzing odor of a terrible diaper which was planted in his home by an evil baby genius who at the precise moment of paralyzation took over the body of the man. The man immediately ran and got a personalized diaper embroidered at the mall kiosk where they do that sort of thing. The kiosk attendant thought the man had a strange look in his eyes… and a nefarious odor about his person. He has been attempting to create a mutant monster out of discarded Huggies.
Clock Man looks innocent enough BUT he can control time. Watch out. You too could be subject to his wrath.
Particle Man appears small but inside that tiny dot is a war room where an evil little man is planning to take over univeristies and convince mankind that they are inferior to specks of dust.
Darth Snail was once a good snail but then he fell in love with a woman twice his age and from another planet. This lead to his ultimate undoing.
Eyeball Man wears flowers on his lapel because he thinks they are pretty. He looks dangerous but he is really harmless.
Count Barbie, possibly the most evil breed of villain ever recorded. Count Barbie will take off her heels and throw them with such precision that they will be sure to gouge out any eye. She goes to have her fangs sharpened and buffed on a regular basis. Beware.
Darth Banana was once a regular banana. But then his kind exterior was peeled away to expose the evil dark lord that dwelt within.
Garbage Can Man is very sad. You would be too if you were a trash reseptacle.
Booger Man began his career as a struggling actor in allergy medication commercials. When he realised that his talent wasn’t up to snuff he decided to throw in the kleenex and take up the life of a villain instead.
Squid Casserole – Everyone’s worst nightmare. Need we say more? I didn’t think so.
Noodle Man. Noodle Man is the king of all evil villains. He was a lonely child whose mother never ever gave him soup when he was sick. He now makes it his life’s work to go around stealing soup from people and shooting them in the eyeballs with scalding hot broth.